Wasn't Me
by Daria234
Summary: Dean and Sam body-switching humor ficlet. They argue and embarrass each other. Mild Dean/Cas Sam/Cas slash.


Written for comment_fic on livejournal

Prompt was for Supernatural, Dean/Castiel or Sam/Castiel, Dean and Sam switch bodies (it's Dean's fault somehow) and to pay Dean back, while in his body, Sam kisses Castiel

Cas looked at Sam, apparently fooled by the magical appearance that he was Dean.

"Dean, you are...scared. Of me?"

"No, he's not," Dean said, though of course it appeared as if Sam were talking. Dean really wanted to keep the angels out of this. He didn't exactly want to explain to Cas that he had slept with a witch (supposedly the 'good' kind), and that she had gotten annoyed the morning after when Dean left without saying good-bye. She got even more annoyed when she found out Dean had left so he could have, in her words, a 'big macho passive-aggressive non-communicating co-dependent bitchfest with your brother.'

Yeah, the less Cas knew about that story, the better. So Dean said,"Dean's just, um, thinking hard about the best strategy for our next step."

"Yeah," said Sam, still annoyed that Dean's dick had gotten them into this mess, "I know it's not like me to actually think things through, but I thought I'd try it once."

Dean scowled, and for a moment he wondered if he looked ridiculous. After all, he was in Sammy's body, and Sammy scowls were kind of adorably non-threatening. But then he said, "Don't be so hard on yourself, _Dean_. I know that you're just stressed because I've been such a little bitch lately."

"Yeah, well, thanks Sam, and I'm sorry I've been an egomaniacal controlling JERK since the day I was born."

"Maybe it's time you shut up, DEAN," Dean said with warning in his voice, "I'm sure Cas doesn't want to know our PERSONAL business."

Sam looked at him with narrowed eyes. "Yeah, it's fine for me to be a total ass to my brother. But Cas shouldn't have to see it. Cas is totally my hero, Sam, and it really only matters what _he_ thinks."

Cas looked confused. "That is not correct, Dean, and I believe you have frequently told me that you care not what I think."

"Yeah, Dean, knock it off with the kidding around," Dean said through gritted teeth.

Sam turned to Cas, glad to think of something that would burn Dean up. "Cas, I've been wanting to do this since I've met you." And Dean watched in horror as Sam rushed forward and kissed Cas on the lips. Using DEAN'S mouth. And then, quite obviously, using Dean's tongue.

And rather sloppily, too. Which was just insult to injury.

Dean cringed, waiting to see if Cas would just smite Dean and Sam right there. But Cas sighed, and gently told him "I have long suspected you felt this way Dean. But I am afraid I am not made for such things."

"What!?" Dean yelled as Sam started laughing uncontrollably.

"I do not understand your reaction, Dean," Cas said to Sam, who was laughing so hard he was crying.

"It's okay, Cas. I just, um, don't deal with rejection well. Please just, um, next time, we'll just pretend this never happened," Sam got out between heaving laughs.

Cas nodded and disappeared.

Dean shoved Sam and said, "I am gonna kill you, Sammy!"

"No you won't," Sam said with a smirk. "Any damage you do is to your own body. And then how will you hunt if you've just beaten yourself to a pulp? Not to mention that I would have to kick my own body's ass if you tried."

Dean looked like he wanted to strangle Sam. But he suddenly went calm, smiled, and grabbed the keys to the Impala. "Be back tomorrow," he said on his way out, "Wait here."

Sam was a little worried, and he figured Dean was going to get some petty revenge. But he said he would be back so Dean couldn't really be that pissed off. Sam groaned when realized that Dean would probably come back with a My Little Pony tattoo on his ass or something. .

So when Dean walked Sam's body into the motel room the next night, looking very smug, Sam said, "Okay, what is it? What'd you do?"

"Not me, Sammy. What did __you__ do."

Sam rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Fine. Just tell me what you did and then we'll be even, and then we can find the witch and fix this."

"Oh, we're even all right, Sammy. We're even. Big time."

Sam was starting to panic just a little. "What did you do Dean?" he demanded. Sam's throat went dry when he heard the answer.

"Let's just say that from now on, Bobby will be more comfortable talking to me."


End file.
